Me? Hit my kids? Never.

Nathan came to me with those plastic bags full of air that come in packages now up his shirt, and said:

Punch me. But not as hard as you can.

He was remembering a year or two ago, when he came to me wearing a shield that was really a cardboard box that pinioned his arms down, and asked me to punch him as hard as I could. And I didn't do that, but I didn't really softball it, so when I punched him, and his arms were bound so he couldn't right himself, he fell over, bouncing off the chair as he traveled downward.

It was a great laugh, then and now.

For both of us.

Quick December update

Alice has a new game. While I sit on the couch, sometimes feeding Peter, she will get a book and a toy phone. She will hand me the book and command: "Read." She was pretend to have a conversation on the toy phone while I read, aloud. If I do not read aloud and merely pretend to read she will stop her conversation long enough to point at the page: "Read!" If she would hand me one of my books this game would be great, but there's only so many times I can read the Berenstain Bear's Christmas book sans audience.

So far the Christmas tree has not been the draw we thought it would be. Peter is close but not yet crawling. Sitting, he'll lunge forward until he flips onto his belly, and he'll wiggle around, sideways and backwards, any way but the way he's trying. Levi said the other night he got from his stomach back to sitting, which is impressive. But no crawling. The tree is safe.

Safe from Peter, but not Alice. She's had so much fun with the tree. The night we decorated it she picked her favorite spot and piled it on. She had trouble hanging the ornaments, so she just set them on one branch. Every couple of minutes I'd find a stash of six or so tiny ornaments, hang them in other places, and then come back to find another little pile. In the days after she took great delight in playing with the ornaments until we threatened to take them all of the tree. She's done better since. Nathan and Clara got little star ornaments from Primary after the Primary program (why they neglected the nursery, I'll never know. Oh, the unfairness of it all.) and Alice wanted one so badly. So we found a star-shaped ornament in the box and now that's Alice's baby star. I'm not sure why it's a baby star but you had better not call it anything else.

Nathan has learned to keep a secret! He saw me buying a present for Levi online and has not yet spilled the beans. It was either Christmas or birthday last year that he did and I was so mad. He's so proud of himself and I am too. In first grade he wrote a letter to Santa and boy is he in for a great Christmas. He's pretty sure Santa is going to deliver: a tv, a ninja turtle, a viteo game [sic], a bb gun, a crocodile. I wish I could remember all the creative spellings because they were pretty priceless. He was all set to mail his letter to Santa but then it got lost. (I had nothing to do with this losing, unlike some others...) I'm hoping the loss of letter appeases his disappointment at not receiving maybe all of these things. He told me that (1) he would save the bb gun until he was 15 and (2) he had written an xbox on his list, but erased it, thereby showing restraint. Never mind he doesn't know what an xbox is; he needs one.

Clara will get her very own post, about her very first dance recital. Other than that, she's so excited for Christmas and her birthday. The other day she told me she was ready to be five because she could read books (e.g., make up words to go with the pictures). She just wishes her birthday could be moved up a little because (1) it's too hard to wait and (2) she can't bear to be behind her beloved Ainsley friend for an entire week and a half.

Five days! Maybe I should start wrapping presents. Being tired and a little sick is not an excuse. Peter has slept through the night three nights this week! Continuing that would be the best Christmas present.

Signs Clara has been reading too much Fancy Nancy.

"Mom, I want to make my hair look like boy hair."

I told her I could make her hair look like boy hair, with some clippers. She responded that she knew how to comb her hair to look like Nathan's. "So people won't make fun of me for being too beautiful."

She disappears downstairs to doctor her appearance with a comb and a squirt bottle.

She reappears later, her bangs wet and combed to the side, wearing a sparkly headband.

"How is your boy hair coming along?"

"I accidentally followed the wrong recipe that made my hair even more beautiful."

I hate it when that happens.

***

On Saturday I took Clara to The Nutcracker. She's in ballet this year so I figured she would think it was magical. She was really excited all week. She dressed up in her sequiny Christmas dress and put on lip gloss. Then she helped me pick out my clothes and insisted I wear the same lip gloss so we could match.

Somehow she decided she didn't want to look too beautiful, "so the Egyptians won't want to get me." (Other than the venue being Peery's Egyptian theater, I really don't know where this is coming from.) On the drive to the theater she talked about how she likes to be fancy every day, which is why she wears skirts all the time, so she can be a little bit beautiful every day. It was very informative.

She had a great time until we arrived at the theater. The lobby was super crowded, and she got bored sitting and waiting for it to start. She couldn't see so she had to sit on my lap. Then she got thirsty. At intermission I couldn't find a drinking fountain so we bought a soda and twizzlers which pepped her up a bit. She danced in the aisle for the rest of the intermission, but shortly after the second half started she wilted again. Thirsty? chew on the ice cubes. Tired? No, we're not leaving early.

By the time we got home she was so tired she yelled in response to Levi's question, "It was horrible!" But, given a few days to think about it, she says she did enjoy herself. Her favorite part was the "Sprite and licorice, and seeing the new view, since I've never been there before."

Good thing I didn't spring to see Ballet West. She got to enjoy sprite and licorice for half the price. She probably would have enjoyed a movie at the dollar theater even more.

Next mom/daughter date will be earlier in the evening, I think.

***

Now Clara is reenacting the entire book of Fancy Nancy where she gives her mother an ooh-la-la spa day. We are soaking our feet in cold water.

Fancy.

Miscellany and Thanksgiving

 Sad, Petey: "I'm sad my hair is so long. People gonna think I'm a girl."

 Problem solved. First haircut, roughly 6 1/2 months. I didn't use the clippers on him, though. Hopefully he won't grow up with a mortal fear of clippers, like his brother.

 Computer work is hard. No joke. Clara started out loving online preschool, but the shine has worn off. It's getting harder, and she doesn't love that. But she's learning so much! It's fun to see how much she knows. Also, she usually sits down to do it in the late afternoon, when she's tired. Hmmm.

 Alice is putting herself through the school of life, on scholarship. She learned she can climb up on the counter to get treats out of the cupboard. And, mom and dad, don't notice, or you'll get yelled at.

Peter enjoyed the water bottle. I don't think he got anything out though. He's going gangbusters on baby food. I finally started making my own baby food. Why did it take me until my fourth? It's not hard. I'm saving so much not buying baby food. win win and win.

[I won the waiting game! I've been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for a website to load so I can use a groupon about to expire, in 25 minutes, to buy a certain present for a certain set of people. The website was super busy and I didn't think I'd ever get to check out. Patience wins one, for once.]

And now, it's late, and I'm tired.

But, one more thing: Thanksgiving. Every year we think: whose turn is it for Thanksgiving? And every year we think: don't we have this problem every year? I'd better look on my blog, because I vowed last year I would WRITE IT DOWN. And every year, I didn't write it down.

So, this year, we went to the Bartons. I lazied it up and did a veggie tray which turned out to be a big hit. Next time I'll make it bigger, and not just made up out of vegetables I happened to have. Next time, there will be planning and forethought. Yeah, who am I kidding? We fly by the seat of our pants, usually.

Our weekend in headlines

Headlines! How Exciting!

Thursday: A Nice Little Day Off
Friday: The Epidemic Grows Exponentially; The Day of the Pukes; Stop Screaming Already
Saturday: On the Mend?; Stop Screaming Already
Sunday: We Haven't Watched This Much Television in the Last Three Months
Monday: The Great Media Detox; I Would Feel Better if I Got a Decent Night's Sleep for Once


Want the story that goes with the headlines? I don't know why I was thinking in headlines this weekend, but it seemed fun.

Thursday morning Clara felt warm when she came to snuggle in my bed. So we got Nathan off to school, and then canceled preschool. It was perfect: we had picked up the house Wednesday night, but I hadn't done any prep for the letter K crafts I was planning. We watched a couple movies and snuggled. Easy day.

It's murky now, but I think Nathan was up feeling not well Thursday night/Friday morning, so he stayed home from school. I even remembered to call to excuse him (one day when we were especially late the school called to see if he was sick). Clara, Alice, and Peter, and I ate breakfast. PBS stayed on all day. Nathan was the first to throw up, on the carpet, making the basement a miasma of sickness. Clara followed soon after, and she's a screamer when she pukes, until you get her a drink of water. Somewhere in the middle of this I started not feeling so well, although I never threw up. By the time Levi got home at 3:30 I was laying on the floor snuggled in a quilt. He took good care of us.

By Saturday everyone was done throwing up. Some of us even had bananas and applesauce for breakfast. Gatorade was purchased and consumed. But there were still stomachaches and lots of movies. And then long naps, after some more screaming. Homemade bread and bean of bacon soup for dinner (Levi again took good care of us).

Middle of the night stomachaches and Peter's slight fever, and I knew we shouldn't even try making it to church. Suspended my own policy of no movies on Sunday, since Levi had meetings both before and after church and I was feeling dizzy for some reason. Let the kids delve into the midst of Amazon Prime Instant Video. Have you noticed that the more tv your kids watch the more awful they become? We've gotten into a good groove this school year where there isn't much television happening. So, really, I think we've watched more in the last three days than we have since school started.

Sunday night/Monday morning the kids slept fine, except for that Peter. The night before he'd slept until 5, so I asked him pretty please to do the same thing again. We laid him down at 9:30, and he was up at 10. And 12, when I gave him some tylenol, thinking that would help. And then at 1. at 1:30 I asked Levi to take him for a drive to help him sleep. At 2:30 I woke up, realized they were not back yet, and knew that I had killed a third of my family. Then I agonized that I don' t have the earning power to support my family in the manner to which we've become accustomed. They got back ten minutes later; Levi had driven to Brigham City and back, since Peter had stirred and cried a couple of times. I married a good man. Then Peter slept all the way to five! I slept/fed him on the couch until the kids got up.

Today, Monday, I've declared Only One Movie. Nathan had a stomachache after breakfast so he stayed home, but he's since perked up. Clara seems fine. She's actually back to her helpful self, and is feeding me a bowl of applesauce as I type. She decided it would be "fun to do the chores, since I haven't been doing the chores, and you usually do all the chores." We haven't seen helpful Clara in a couple of weeks. [She now wants to floss my teeth.] Alice has had a couple of especially yucky diapers but she seems happy still, so I'm hopeful we're at the end. Once again, if we can get a decent night's sleep, we'll survive.

I'll leave you with a happy story. Alice is getting really interested in imaginative play. Independent imaginative play. If we watch what she's doing she gets mad, growls No! and turns away. On Friday afternoon, after cleaning up the carpet, I left the roll of paper towels within reach, and she decided it would be so fun. There were only a few feet left on it, so I let it be. Levi caught her wrapping it around herself like a fancy cloak, and knew better than to say anything, but she still got mad when she realized she was being watched. Later, a sheet got torn off, but instead of getting mad, she put it to use by giving it to me for a blanket. How nice.

This morning she made up for it by using me as a couch. She said, "You a couch," and sat on me. And laughed. Being two must be so fun.

[Now they are doing my hair and Nathan just made me some homework sheets. Everybody's going back to school TOMORROW.]

Halloween partying

 All told, we participated in five Halloween parties. No, seven. Apparently we know people who love Halloween. That includes a party with each of my extended families, a preschool party, a first grade party, a Barton party (pictured), my witches party, and the kids having a party with grandma and grandpa while Levi and I went on a date.

 At the Barton party, we made spiders and monster puppets, and played a spider web game, before dinner and trick or treating.

 Sadly, these are the only pictures I managed to get are blurry and terrible. This year, we had a storm trooper, witch, bee, and dinosaur or Pete's Dragon, if you will. And the best part is, I didn't have to make any of them. I found them all at a consignment sale. I paid less than 10 dollars for all of them, total. I did make Nathan's storm trooper helmet, relying extensively on a pinterest tutorial. Nathan loved it, so it didn't matter so much that it looked a little wonky. Wish I'd gotten a better picture.

 The bigger cousins quickly outpaced the littles, so Levi went ahead with Nathan and Clara, carrying Peter, while I stuck with the slower Alice and the twins.

Alice was, in a word, adorable. She was too shy to speak for most of it. I'd ask her to say thank you, and she wouldn't. But at one house, she got brave. We got halfway back up the driveway, having gotten her candy, before uttering a very soft thank you. Then she piped up louder: "I did it, Mom!" After that, she'd always say it after we left the door, making sure to tell me she'd done so. By the end of the night, she said it so someone could actually hear her.

The evening was beautiful; the temperature in the sixties. Once it got dark, Alice saw an aspen tree with orange lights. She stopped. "Mom, that tree is all... Christmas! I want to touch it!" And she did.

Farmington trick-or-treating is a far cry from our neighborhood. We went to one especially posh house where a lady dressed as Cinderella opened the door, revealing an entry tiled with marble, crystal chandelier, etc. Clara later told me about it and asked, "Was she REALLY Cinderella?" Just think, a real princess castle right here in our state.

 

So, Halloween, we did you up right this year.

I just realized...for the last seven months this blog has has the title "Five's a Crowd." So out of date... and one of these days I'll remember how to change it. It's late. Also, the family pictures I have posted on the sidebar only have two of our four children. If this were a real, actual, money-making blog I'd probably have done something about that by now. As it is, you just have to deal with it.

We got family pictures a couple weeks ago. It was a groupon deal (we may have to do a separate post sometime about my serious groupon habit) for a great price. A 30 minute photo shoot at Beus Park, in October. Lovely, right? They did turn out nice, with two caveats: the leaves are still green, and for every picture the photographer had us pose on a very ugly brown plastic bench. Ack. I was just going to ask him if we could do a shot overlooking the pond instead, when our shoot was finished. So I've been looking over the proofs and the light is beautiful. They turned out well. And...here's the third caveat. The deal I purchased only gives me a print of one image, and additional prints are super expensive. Like, "$29 for an 8x10" expensive. And I can buy a CD of all files, so I can print whatever I want, for the bargain price of $349. Wahoo! Need to remember that good deals are sometimes not such good deals.

Next time: Halloween. I have actual factual pictures.