Quick December update

Alice has a new game. While I sit on the couch, sometimes feeding Peter, she will get a book and a toy phone. She will hand me the book and command: "Read." She was pretend to have a conversation on the toy phone while I read, aloud. If I do not read aloud and merely pretend to read she will stop her conversation long enough to point at the page: "Read!" If she would hand me one of my books this game would be great, but there's only so many times I can read the Berenstain Bear's Christmas book sans audience.

So far the Christmas tree has not been the draw we thought it would be. Peter is close but not yet crawling. Sitting, he'll lunge forward until he flips onto his belly, and he'll wiggle around, sideways and backwards, any way but the way he's trying. Levi said the other night he got from his stomach back to sitting, which is impressive. But no crawling. The tree is safe.

Safe from Peter, but not Alice. She's had so much fun with the tree. The night we decorated it she picked her favorite spot and piled it on. She had trouble hanging the ornaments, so she just set them on one branch. Every couple of minutes I'd find a stash of six or so tiny ornaments, hang them in other places, and then come back to find another little pile. In the days after she took great delight in playing with the ornaments until we threatened to take them all of the tree. She's done better since. Nathan and Clara got little star ornaments from Primary after the Primary program (why they neglected the nursery, I'll never know. Oh, the unfairness of it all.) and Alice wanted one so badly. So we found a star-shaped ornament in the box and now that's Alice's baby star. I'm not sure why it's a baby star but you had better not call it anything else.

Nathan has learned to keep a secret! He saw me buying a present for Levi online and has not yet spilled the beans. It was either Christmas or birthday last year that he did and I was so mad. He's so proud of himself and I am too. In first grade he wrote a letter to Santa and boy is he in for a great Christmas. He's pretty sure Santa is going to deliver: a tv, a ninja turtle, a viteo game [sic], a bb gun, a crocodile. I wish I could remember all the creative spellings because they were pretty priceless. He was all set to mail his letter to Santa but then it got lost. (I had nothing to do with this losing, unlike some others...) I'm hoping the loss of letter appeases his disappointment at not receiving maybe all of these things. He told me that (1) he would save the bb gun until he was 15 and (2) he had written an xbox on his list, but erased it, thereby showing restraint. Never mind he doesn't know what an xbox is; he needs one.

Clara will get her very own post, about her very first dance recital. Other than that, she's so excited for Christmas and her birthday. The other day she told me she was ready to be five because she could read books (e.g., make up words to go with the pictures). She just wishes her birthday could be moved up a little because (1) it's too hard to wait and (2) she can't bear to be behind her beloved Ainsley friend for an entire week and a half.

Five days! Maybe I should start wrapping presents. Being tired and a little sick is not an excuse. Peter has slept through the night three nights this week! Continuing that would be the best Christmas present.

Signs Clara has been reading too much Fancy Nancy.

"Mom, I want to make my hair look like boy hair."

I told her I could make her hair look like boy hair, with some clippers. She responded that she knew how to comb her hair to look like Nathan's. "So people won't make fun of me for being too beautiful."

She disappears downstairs to doctor her appearance with a comb and a squirt bottle.

She reappears later, her bangs wet and combed to the side, wearing a sparkly headband.

"How is your boy hair coming along?"

"I accidentally followed the wrong recipe that made my hair even more beautiful."

I hate it when that happens.

***

On Saturday I took Clara to The Nutcracker. She's in ballet this year so I figured she would think it was magical. She was really excited all week. She dressed up in her sequiny Christmas dress and put on lip gloss. Then she helped me pick out my clothes and insisted I wear the same lip gloss so we could match.

Somehow she decided she didn't want to look too beautiful, "so the Egyptians won't want to get me." (Other than the venue being Peery's Egyptian theater, I really don't know where this is coming from.) On the drive to the theater she talked about how she likes to be fancy every day, which is why she wears skirts all the time, so she can be a little bit beautiful every day. It was very informative.

She had a great time until we arrived at the theater. The lobby was super crowded, and she got bored sitting and waiting for it to start. She couldn't see so she had to sit on my lap. Then she got thirsty. At intermission I couldn't find a drinking fountain so we bought a soda and twizzlers which pepped her up a bit. She danced in the aisle for the rest of the intermission, but shortly after the second half started she wilted again. Thirsty? chew on the ice cubes. Tired? No, we're not leaving early.

By the time we got home she was so tired she yelled in response to Levi's question, "It was horrible!" But, given a few days to think about it, she says she did enjoy herself. Her favorite part was the "Sprite and licorice, and seeing the new view, since I've never been there before."

Good thing I didn't spring to see Ballet West. She got to enjoy sprite and licorice for half the price. She probably would have enjoyed a movie at the dollar theater even more.

Next mom/daughter date will be earlier in the evening, I think.

***

Now Clara is reenacting the entire book of Fancy Nancy where she gives her mother an ooh-la-la spa day. We are soaking our feet in cold water.

Fancy.

Miscellany and Thanksgiving

 Sad, Petey: "I'm sad my hair is so long. People gonna think I'm a girl."

 Problem solved. First haircut, roughly 6 1/2 months. I didn't use the clippers on him, though. Hopefully he won't grow up with a mortal fear of clippers, like his brother.

 Computer work is hard. No joke. Clara started out loving online preschool, but the shine has worn off. It's getting harder, and she doesn't love that. But she's learning so much! It's fun to see how much she knows. Also, she usually sits down to do it in the late afternoon, when she's tired. Hmmm.

 Alice is putting herself through the school of life, on scholarship. She learned she can climb up on the counter to get treats out of the cupboard. And, mom and dad, don't notice, or you'll get yelled at.

Peter enjoyed the water bottle. I don't think he got anything out though. He's going gangbusters on baby food. I finally started making my own baby food. Why did it take me until my fourth? It's not hard. I'm saving so much not buying baby food. win win and win.

[I won the waiting game! I've been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for a website to load so I can use a groupon about to expire, in 25 minutes, to buy a certain present for a certain set of people. The website was super busy and I didn't think I'd ever get to check out. Patience wins one, for once.]

And now, it's late, and I'm tired.

But, one more thing: Thanksgiving. Every year we think: whose turn is it for Thanksgiving? And every year we think: don't we have this problem every year? I'd better look on my blog, because I vowed last year I would WRITE IT DOWN. And every year, I didn't write it down.

So, this year, we went to the Bartons. I lazied it up and did a veggie tray which turned out to be a big hit. Next time I'll make it bigger, and not just made up out of vegetables I happened to have. Next time, there will be planning and forethought. Yeah, who am I kidding? We fly by the seat of our pants, usually.

Our weekend in headlines

Headlines! How Exciting!

Thursday: A Nice Little Day Off
Friday: The Epidemic Grows Exponentially; The Day of the Pukes; Stop Screaming Already
Saturday: On the Mend?; Stop Screaming Already
Sunday: We Haven't Watched This Much Television in the Last Three Months
Monday: The Great Media Detox; I Would Feel Better if I Got a Decent Night's Sleep for Once


Want the story that goes with the headlines? I don't know why I was thinking in headlines this weekend, but it seemed fun.

Thursday morning Clara felt warm when she came to snuggle in my bed. So we got Nathan off to school, and then canceled preschool. It was perfect: we had picked up the house Wednesday night, but I hadn't done any prep for the letter K crafts I was planning. We watched a couple movies and snuggled. Easy day.

It's murky now, but I think Nathan was up feeling not well Thursday night/Friday morning, so he stayed home from school. I even remembered to call to excuse him (one day when we were especially late the school called to see if he was sick). Clara, Alice, and Peter, and I ate breakfast. PBS stayed on all day. Nathan was the first to throw up, on the carpet, making the basement a miasma of sickness. Clara followed soon after, and she's a screamer when she pukes, until you get her a drink of water. Somewhere in the middle of this I started not feeling so well, although I never threw up. By the time Levi got home at 3:30 I was laying on the floor snuggled in a quilt. He took good care of us.

By Saturday everyone was done throwing up. Some of us even had bananas and applesauce for breakfast. Gatorade was purchased and consumed. But there were still stomachaches and lots of movies. And then long naps, after some more screaming. Homemade bread and bean of bacon soup for dinner (Levi again took good care of us).

Middle of the night stomachaches and Peter's slight fever, and I knew we shouldn't even try making it to church. Suspended my own policy of no movies on Sunday, since Levi had meetings both before and after church and I was feeling dizzy for some reason. Let the kids delve into the midst of Amazon Prime Instant Video. Have you noticed that the more tv your kids watch the more awful they become? We've gotten into a good groove this school year where there isn't much television happening. So, really, I think we've watched more in the last three days than we have since school started.

Sunday night/Monday morning the kids slept fine, except for that Peter. The night before he'd slept until 5, so I asked him pretty please to do the same thing again. We laid him down at 9:30, and he was up at 10. And 12, when I gave him some tylenol, thinking that would help. And then at 1. at 1:30 I asked Levi to take him for a drive to help him sleep. At 2:30 I woke up, realized they were not back yet, and knew that I had killed a third of my family. Then I agonized that I don' t have the earning power to support my family in the manner to which we've become accustomed. They got back ten minutes later; Levi had driven to Brigham City and back, since Peter had stirred and cried a couple of times. I married a good man. Then Peter slept all the way to five! I slept/fed him on the couch until the kids got up.

Today, Monday, I've declared Only One Movie. Nathan had a stomachache after breakfast so he stayed home, but he's since perked up. Clara seems fine. She's actually back to her helpful self, and is feeding me a bowl of applesauce as I type. She decided it would be "fun to do the chores, since I haven't been doing the chores, and you usually do all the chores." We haven't seen helpful Clara in a couple of weeks. [She now wants to floss my teeth.] Alice has had a couple of especially yucky diapers but she seems happy still, so I'm hopeful we're at the end. Once again, if we can get a decent night's sleep, we'll survive.

I'll leave you with a happy story. Alice is getting really interested in imaginative play. Independent imaginative play. If we watch what she's doing she gets mad, growls No! and turns away. On Friday afternoon, after cleaning up the carpet, I left the roll of paper towels within reach, and she decided it would be so fun. There were only a few feet left on it, so I let it be. Levi caught her wrapping it around herself like a fancy cloak, and knew better than to say anything, but she still got mad when she realized she was being watched. Later, a sheet got torn off, but instead of getting mad, she put it to use by giving it to me for a blanket. How nice.

This morning she made up for it by using me as a couch. She said, "You a couch," and sat on me. And laughed. Being two must be so fun.

[Now they are doing my hair and Nathan just made me some homework sheets. Everybody's going back to school TOMORROW.]

Halloween partying

 All told, we participated in five Halloween parties. No, seven. Apparently we know people who love Halloween. That includes a party with each of my extended families, a preschool party, a first grade party, a Barton party (pictured), my witches party, and the kids having a party with grandma and grandpa while Levi and I went on a date.

 At the Barton party, we made spiders and monster puppets, and played a spider web game, before dinner and trick or treating.

 Sadly, these are the only pictures I managed to get are blurry and terrible. This year, we had a storm trooper, witch, bee, and dinosaur or Pete's Dragon, if you will. And the best part is, I didn't have to make any of them. I found them all at a consignment sale. I paid less than 10 dollars for all of them, total. I did make Nathan's storm trooper helmet, relying extensively on a pinterest tutorial. Nathan loved it, so it didn't matter so much that it looked a little wonky. Wish I'd gotten a better picture.

 The bigger cousins quickly outpaced the littles, so Levi went ahead with Nathan and Clara, carrying Peter, while I stuck with the slower Alice and the twins.

Alice was, in a word, adorable. She was too shy to speak for most of it. I'd ask her to say thank you, and she wouldn't. But at one house, she got brave. We got halfway back up the driveway, having gotten her candy, before uttering a very soft thank you. Then she piped up louder: "I did it, Mom!" After that, she'd always say it after we left the door, making sure to tell me she'd done so. By the end of the night, she said it so someone could actually hear her.

The evening was beautiful; the temperature in the sixties. Once it got dark, Alice saw an aspen tree with orange lights. She stopped. "Mom, that tree is all... Christmas! I want to touch it!" And she did.

Farmington trick-or-treating is a far cry from our neighborhood. We went to one especially posh house where a lady dressed as Cinderella opened the door, revealing an entry tiled with marble, crystal chandelier, etc. Clara later told me about it and asked, "Was she REALLY Cinderella?" Just think, a real princess castle right here in our state.

 

So, Halloween, we did you up right this year.

I just realized...for the last seven months this blog has has the title "Five's a Crowd." So out of date... and one of these days I'll remember how to change it. It's late. Also, the family pictures I have posted on the sidebar only have two of our four children. If this were a real, actual, money-making blog I'd probably have done something about that by now. As it is, you just have to deal with it.

We got family pictures a couple weeks ago. It was a groupon deal (we may have to do a separate post sometime about my serious groupon habit) for a great price. A 30 minute photo shoot at Beus Park, in October. Lovely, right? They did turn out nice, with two caveats: the leaves are still green, and for every picture the photographer had us pose on a very ugly brown plastic bench. Ack. I was just going to ask him if we could do a shot overlooking the pond instead, when our shoot was finished. So I've been looking over the proofs and the light is beautiful. They turned out well. And...here's the third caveat. The deal I purchased only gives me a print of one image, and additional prints are super expensive. Like, "$29 for an 8x10" expensive. And I can buy a CD of all files, so I can print whatever I want, for the bargain price of $349. Wahoo! Need to remember that good deals are sometimes not such good deals.

Next time: Halloween. I have actual factual pictures.

Remember the good old days when...

...I blogged weekly? My Mondays weren't complete if I didn't put a small update here. It was thought-out, sometimes witty, and always had pictures.

 But lately, life has been too full of living to do much writing. Or anything else. Ergo, I'm about to return a library book, about a quarter of the way read. (gasp!) It's due tomorrow and there's just too much else to do to finish it.

 We stained our fence. After a couple hours' work only got the front sides of the fence done, we returned to the store for more stain and a sprayer. For all your paint- and stain-spraying needs, see us first. I think it took Levi about as long to do the entire backyard as I spent doing a quarter of the area. The kids had fun helping me, though. That lovely pink shirt now has a blob of stain on it, and the black pants must as well, because her underwear had stain on it.

Peter continues to dominate the house with his baby-ness. He holds us all in his thrall. (unintentionally rhyming happening here.) I forgot to take him in at four months to the doctor, and then they called to remind me of my neglect, and after I took him in at five months to get his four-month shots, he stopped sleeping. He's spent a good portion of the last month getting up three times a night. Sometimes two. It's a good night when he only wakes up once. This is the baby who slept 11 hours at 3 months. One night he was up three times between midnight and five am. This kid is going to be so grounded.

We finally started him on food a couple weeks after his six-month birthday and he's taking to it really well. I'm mentally gearing up to make my own baby food because I hate paying so much for such small containers of goo. You'd think I'd have this down by four kids. How have I never tried making baby food before? We have a little baby food grinder which we love, but he won't be feeding him table food for a while still. So I'm going to buy some vegetables and put the blender to use. Ought to be fun, right?

On an unrelated note, the clean laundry sat in baskets for three days before I got around to folding it.

Levi and I went on a date night! with Peter. I was due to go to my aunt's witch party, which is held faithfully and without fail the second weekend in October. But then my cousin went and had her first baby that very evening, so we called it off. So Levi and I took the evening to do things we aren't ambitious enough to do with the kids: Ethnic Food and Bookstore Browsing. (I don't get out much, so those do require capital letters.) We went to Taste of India and then walked over to Barnes and Noble. And to do those things with just one baby was...so easy. It was a fun night.

Every time I think about sitting down to write something, I can't think of anything to say. My head's too full of everything that's been happening (and where everybody has left their shoes) to articulate any of it. Like:

The struggles and successes of Nathan's first couple of months of first grade.
Hanging on to every minute of Peter my baby's babyhood.
And a haircut!
Coping with Clara's constant and inscrutable questions. "Why do they call it a Suburban?"
And enjoying Alice. She is a rascal.
Trying to get around to reading Smart but Scattered. It's a book my sister recommended to me and I'm pretty sure it's going to solve all of our problems always.
Doing those nagging house projects in between all the other cleaning things I expect myself to do but never seem to get done.
Why can't I make dinner anymore?
Learning to bake with natural yeast.
The trunk of the car is filled with the beginnings of Christmas shopping because the kids can't get into it there. So don't try and put anything in there.

Quotables

Clara on Milk Duds:
You take a seed, and put it in a pan, and put some milk on it, and some chocolate on it, and some caramel on top of it, and then you let it sit for 18 hours, and then it becomes a Milk Dug.

Alice on Cheesy Broccoli Soup:
Dad, this is so yummy! You should try it!

Alice, when asked where she learned to say things like that:
Because I want to.

Nathan Levi

Or, as he insisted today, his name is Nothing. He even wrote it on one of his homework pages. I let is pass because, he was happy, and his homework was getting done.

Nathan has been up to:

• He just started first grade. Academically, he's great. Right where he should be. I worry a little about his behavior these first few weeks. But, crack the hammer down, and he'll settle in. That's his mojo.
• His teacher told me he's got the best handwriting in the class. Not what I expected to hear, and it's really not a competition, but yeah. Best in the class. When he does settle in to do his work, he does it. 
• He was disappointed the first week of school when they did not have any science. Hope they get to that soon, since that's really where his heart lies these days. He dallies between wanting to be an entomologist, paleontologist, or astronaut.
• He hates to sit down and read. He doesn't like to do something that requires effort and practice. But when he does sit down and really do it, he does well. We got him to do it the other night because Peter wanted him to read to him. And there's not much you can say to refuse a baby brother.
• Whenever Peter babbles, Nathan asks me what he's saying. So I translate. Usually it's things like, "I want you to read to me" or "I wish you guys would stop fighting." Once in a while, to keep it believable, it will be "I just ate and I feel so happy." And every time I say something, Nathan says, "Is that really what he just said, mom?" Yes. The answer is always yes.
• We didn't do soccer or baseball or even swimming lessons this summer, but somehow he was always busy. Lego, Trios, blanket forts, collecting bugs in a jar, what have you. A few days ago he found a mushroom in the backyard and constructed Mushroom Town as a home for it, using sticks and small rocks from the side of the garage. The next day the mushroom had wilted so it became Rock Town. Rock Town was fun for the whole family, for hours.
• I love to walk home from school with him since it's almost the best time for conversation. We talk about science things, or what he did that day, or some wild hypothetical scenario that he wishes would come true.
• His favorite part about first grade is eating lunch at school and having three recesses.

He lives life deeply and intensely. When life is good, it's really good.

Clara Lois

Clara, my sweet little second mother who loves to boss her siblings around and twirl around the living room. Where to start?

• Clara started ballet this summer and loves it. She dances everywhere she goes. My friend is her teacher which makes it a lot easier for Clara to go and enjoy herself. This fall she's also started a jazz/tumbling class that she's pretty excited about. This is my substitute for a paid preschool and it seems to be a good fit.
• The night before Nathan started school Clara was in tears. "I'm going to miss Nathan and I don't want to play with Alice because she's mean to me! I want to go to a real preschool without you!" But days later she had changed her mind and would miss me too much if she had to be without me.
• We've started a co-op preschool with my sister and her friends. Five little girls, with my two. We started this week and my girls are both loving it. It gets them out and playing with someone else, but without being so overwhelming for my shy girls. 
• I finally made good on my threats: I cut her hair. The daily battles over brushing out the tangles are over, which is wonderful. She loved her short hair. It fits her personality, it was easy to do, it made her look older. But then she started ballet, and her hair is too short to do a ballerina bun. Sad day. She goes back and forth on if she wants it long again.
• Ever since I went with my friend to get a pedicure for her birthday, Clara is pining to go to to a salon. She would love her entire life to be fancy and beautiful.
• She was mad at me one day because I presumed that she would want to wear pants. Not that I had just bought her some pants. No, the mere fact that pants in her size existed, and were somehow in her bedroom, was insulting. She only wants to wear dresses. (She does still wear pants, though.)
• She loves to follow her Nathan around. He comes up with the best games. She misses him when he is gone.
• She's doing the online Upstart preschool and loves it. She asks to do it every day.
• One day, as I cleaned the kitchen during naptime, she decided she would be the maid and would do all the cleaning. She swept the floor, got a dishcloth, and started mopping. I think she's really internalized all that Cinderella glamor. But I did appreciate the help.
• Our family gave talks a couple weeks ago and she did so good. She climbed up on the stool, planted her mouth firmly on the microphone, and repeated everything I whispered to her, clearly enunciated. She would not let me adjust the microphone so it wasn't in her mouth. 

 She's getting ready to fly, that four and a half year old.

Alice Maragaret

 

 

A few things about our Alicey pirate (above), pink Ninja Turtle (below), and all around tough tomboy nurturing mother girl that she has been this summer.

• She is picking up a lot of lingo, mainly by repeating everything anyone says. 
• She's picked up a love of ninja turtles from Nathan, and used Clara's pink scarf to fashion herself a costume one evening.
• She can hold her own in a wrestling match. The other day I watched her get Nathan on the ground, stand on him, and make him scream. Mostly, but not completely, with laughter.
• She loves to play babies with Clara. They fight over the same baby stroller, despite the fact that we have two.
• Alice makes Clara cry on a regular basis.
• She is learning to dress herself. She can put skirts on by herself, as long as you don't look at the back. She still can't manage to pull it up over the diaper in back.
• She is very excited about the toilet and has twice used it successfully in the last couple of weeks.
• She has two special pink blankets: the flowie one (as in flowers) and the uddie one (as in "the other one"). As we are going to bed, she asks, "Where my uddie blankey?
• She can be so mad, screaming, and then pull herself together and say, "Oh. Okay, mama." Not always, but it's so nice when she pulls it back from a full blown tantrum.
• She is not a little kid. Don't try and call her one. She is just as big as the biggest of brothers and sisters, and can do anything they can do.
• She makes full use of her two-year-old privileges; namely, grunting and refusing to look at someone for no good reason. Usually when she, or they, have just arrived.
• She plays independently very well. She'll go to her room, or downstairs, and just find something to do.
• She likes to come into the bathroom and watch me get ready. When I put lotion on, so does she. She likes to have me put deodorant on her. When I do makeup, she wants "Wips, mama."
• When Clara gets ready for ballet class, she has to put on her leotard and dance around the living room.
• She's fearless about most things. This past weekend up at Preston, she was standing on a little log, about 8 inches tall, with her hand on the wall of the outhouse for balance. She fell, rolled on the ground with the log for a few seconds, then stood up and climbed back on, without any complaint. She's learned the phrase, "I tough kid."
• She's terrified of swings. If you push her too high, which is easy to do, you'll hear about it. And so will the rest of the neighborhood.

Fun times with a fun kid.

Peter Milton

Here's Petey, as of the beginning of June. Have I ever posted a picture of him yet? Lots to catch up on.

A few things about Peter:

• He's five months old today! Stop growing up, baby kid.
• I'll have updated height and weight for him next week. Apparently you're supposed to take babies in for a four-month visit? They called yesterday to remind me. Whelp.
• He's still got an impressive bunch of hair. It started out brown, took on a strawberry/red cast to it, and is now growing in blond. He's got a nice hombre fade-in look going on. I've never had such an on-trend baby.
• Now that it's longer, it's not so much, but his hair is spiky. Alice cannot say spiky. One day, she stood over him, exclaiming: "Fikey! Petey fikey!" Which has now become one of his nicknames, Fikey Pete. It sounds a little foreboding. Don't mess with Fikey Pete.
• Peter is apparently a good name for nicknames. Peter, Pete, Petey. Alice for a while called him "peas" but has since settled on Petey. The whole family has followed suit. He has some pajamas with a dinosaur on them that Alice has named Pete's Dragon. (We had just watched that movie.)
• He's only rolled over a couple of times and still hates tummy time. 
• For a while he'd reach up and grab onto his hair. He made himself cry a couple of times, pulling his own hair. And once he pulled out a pretty good handful of it.
• He's stopped pulling it so much, though, because now he's learned to suck on his fingers and toes. They're delectable.
• He's starting to reach out and grab things. Holding him at dinner time has gotten a little more exciting, for both parties.
•  He loves to look at himself in the mirror. Such a friendly friend! Always smiling!
• For a while he slept through the night, then started waking up a lot. Like three times a night. He's starting only getting up once lately, around 4 or 5. Comparatively, it's something I can handle.
• He's a pretty good wiggler and can rotate himself around in a circle.
• Today his hair was pretty wild, sticking out all over. Levi summed it up pretty well when he said he looked like a japanese anime character.

So we are all pretty big Peter fans. It's hard to remember what our family was like without him.

On waking up

I'm back. Or, at least on my way.

You know how it takes you a while to feel like yourself again after you have a baby? You know how it feels when you have four kids in six years and spend the last two of those years as Relief Society president? Things were fine until Peter was born and I was released when he was 7 weeks old. Suddenly everything seemed too hard. Physically, I'm still getting back to where I want to be. But mentally, things are coming into place.

In trying to get my platelet count back up, I've been trying acupuncture. We'll find out this Friday if it's helped (fingers crossed), but it's been really great. For the past few weeks, for a half an hour, I lay in a dark room. No one talks to me. I don't have to do anything. A couple of times I almost fell asleep. I think that alone has made a huge difference in the way I'm feeling.

Also, it's raining today. Is there anything better than rain?

Saturday for our nine-year anniversary we went for a hike. It was not a huge success, but I'm considering it an investment for our kids to grow up to be good hikers. We got a later start so it was hot. Clara is an unhappy hot hiker. Midway down the trail, as I started to sing the song she had just requested, she started screaming and running down the trail because she just couldn't take it anymore. It seems funny now. It seemed a little funny then. That night, after the kids went to bed, we got Chinese takeout and watched an episode of Poirot. A low-key anniversary, but isn't that kind of fitting for nine years? Planning something was just too hard.

Today I got a babysitter, went to acupuncture, stopped by the library on my way to meet a friend for a pedicure. It was lovely. This afternoon I sat down and played with my kids, my friend's son, and the neighbor kids. We played outside and watched the storm come in. A good day.

All this to say, I just realized I have one week left until school starts. Nathan is starting first grade; he'll be gone all day. When we get along, he's such a delight, with his curiosity and intelligence and creativity. He's right on the cusp of greater independence, of coming into himself, with the inevitable pulling back of not needing me so much. Glory hallelujah, and holy crap. I'll never get this summer back. And now I have one week to make it count.

Nonsense ahead

It's been far too long since I've posted any nonsense. Isn't it?

I was looking at some old pictures the other day, and Nathan as a toddler was just bursting with energy. Zest.

Then it reminded me of the Zest soap commercials from when I was a kid. There was a catchy song about being Zestfully clean.

So if all my kids could be described as soap...

[I thought of this on a day I was still recovering from my three hours of sleep Saturday night. Just a disclaimer.]

Clara, Irish Spring. It really was just the first soap that popped into my head. I guess after her ballet class is over, we could enroll her in Irish step classes. She'd love it.

Alice, Dove. Every once in a while she is peaceful and sweet, rather like a dove. Although, her usual bellicose toddler-dom would make her seem more hawkish than dovish.

Peter, Lever 2000. And...I got nothing. It was just the last soap I could think of. Sometimes being the youngest bites.

Catching up from our weekend

Whenever I sit down to blog I can't remember all the cute things I've been saving up to write about. I'll just assure you that they've been happening, and then you can imagine them.

Peter's trying to learn to laugh. His hair is growing in blond under the red. I'm a little sad about it.

We got new windows the day Levi left for scout camp. I'm super excited about them. Is that what makes you a grownup? Being excited about boring things? They are going to do a lot better job at keeping the outside temperature from becoming the inside temperature. Thus saving money on energy costs. And they look a lot prettier.

We had to take the blinds down for the install, and then Levi was gone, and we needed to go buy new screws to rehang the brackets since they were getting stripped, and I wanted to clean the blinds before rehanging. So we've been living in a fishbowl for a week. With shiny new windows. No biggie. I've just been changing clothes in the bathroom.

We survived Levi being gone for six days, with help from family and friends. It actually went pretty well. I had low expectations for myself, and they were met. Success.

Clara's going to be starting her online preschool. That should be today.

The older kids had a stomach bug this weekend. We ate at Pizza Pie cafe and the kids didn't eat much. Just as well, since Clara woke me up about 1 saying she felt "a little sick." I thought this was code for "I'm scared of the dark" but she came upstairs a few minutes after I tucked her back in, saying there was "weird stuff" in her bed.

Puke in the bed, a little bit. Puke on the blinds, still sitting on her bedroom floor, a lot. Both the kids moved out to the couch, since their room smelled awful, and I spent quite a while cleaning the blinds. They're really clean now. No more dust...or food.

And that was the rest of the night. I'd not even get back to sleep before she puked again, maybe five times? She'd come upstairs and we'd usually make it to the toilet in time. Then feeding Peter. Then Nathan puked on the carpet before he made it to the toilet. I did get back to sleep, maybe around 6. For an hour.

They spent all day laying around, not eating. They did drink a little bit. Then they fell asleep and refused to eat dinner when we woke them up. Levi woke Nathan up, and he got up and went to the bathroom. He found him a few minutes later, asleep on the bathroom floor with his pants still down. They were out for the night at 5 pm. Poor sick kids.

It kind of felt like playing house, to only have two kids to take care of in the evening. They were pretty adorable.

Everybody was up at 7 this morning. Everybody ate breakfast. Recovery!  Levi told me later that Clara got up as he was leaving for work. "Dad, my legs don't work very well." She was pretty shaky. He gave her a bowl of yogurt and left. I'm pretty glad she didn't come wake me up next.

Super long post about not much

It's been a while, eh?

I'm sure there's a lot to catch up on, and I even plan blog posts in my head. This morning at 5 am I thought of a really funny one, but now I haven't an inkling what it was about. So I'll tell you about my day.

Levi's gone to youth conference; he left yesterday. This morning, 10:30, I had just finished the breakfast dishes (the progress of cleaning can be quite glacial around here) and feeding Peter and was gearing up for making the kids clean up the gargantuan mess/fort they had constructed the night before. When I let them stay up watching Charlie and Lola and "camp out" on the couch. But my friend texted to invite us to the Treehouse, so everyone's outlook brightened quite a lot.

I took a shower after telling the kids to clean up their room. This is a part of a fun game where I instruct them in things and they pretend to listen before filling the bathroom sink with water and floating things in it.

[interruption: I think I may remember what my planned post from this morning was! I'll think about it.]

I got ready, got Peter buckled in his carseat to hope that he'd magically fall asleep, chased Alice down to get her dressed, asked the kids twice to put shoes on, and did another batch of dishes--the night before's dishes (the buildup of dishes in my house is the polar opposite of glacial).

Then I--again--told the kids to get shoes on and brush their teeth. Clara shrieked, "Is it time to go? But we haven't finished cleaning up yet!!!" The shrieking is literal, no exaggeration necessary. I've never known the girl to be so concerned with a task left unaccomplished. I sent her down to--wait for it--put her shoes on. Then I sent the big kids on a quest to find Alice's toothbrush. (Are you learning too much about my housekeeping of late? I can't keep up when there's just one of me.) I packed a yogurt parfait for me to eat at school lunch.

We get to school lunch, where Peter waits until we've gotten our food, sat down, and opened everyone's chocolate milks and sorted out utensils and such. Then he wants to eat, since it's been an entire hour and a half, and the big kids are eating, and it's my turn. Once I get Peter latched on Alice tips over her bottle of chocolate milk and it's pouring on the bench and floor and when I get the wipes out to clean it up, I find my container has leaked blueberry juice from my parfait all over the diaper bag. Alice is the only one who eats without threats, and she devours all of her rice and green beans, then wails when her half-eaten snickerdoodle falls on the floor. I tell the kids not to complain at the Treehouse when they are hungry after their abysmal eating and we head to the van, with a still-disconsolate Alice, who I have to carry part of the way. We went to school lunch because I thought it would be easier than cooking and cleaning up another meal in my ridiculous kitchen.

We drive and park and after the long walk from the parking garage to the museum, I remember that I had the double stroller in the back of the van and wouldn't that have made things a little easier? We meet Sara and her kids and between us we have five kids and two infants, and they all seem to want to go different directions, and Peter's fussy, not being able to decide between wanting to eat again and maybe sleeping? After taking turns losing children we manage to interest them all in something in the same general area, Peter falls asleep, and things calm down to manageable for the next few hours.

After leaving the Treehouse at 4:30, I ask them what they want for dinner and they all (miraculously) want the same thing. Everyone falls asleep on the way home. Everyone wakes up fairly happy (again, miraculous) and eats and we watch a little TV before a neighbor comes to play; she leads my kids, a la pied-piper, out the front door without asking permission. We all head outside to play, where we are shortly joined by our other neighbors, with whom we just haven't played enough yet today (they were our friends at the Treehouse).

After riding bikes and other activities just aren't enough, Clara begins hauling stuff outside. Recovering remarkably quickly from the fit resulting from when I told her not to wear her ballet slippers outside and then put them on top of the fridge when she ignored me, she brought outside pillows and blankets outside to sleep. "For pretend." I offered to make it "for real." Nathan joined in with gusto, toys and blankets and such. And the side table from downstairs so he could serve soda to everyone. (Let no one say he's not a good host.)

Oh, and let us not neglect the "campfire" they constructed in the middle of the sidewalk, and the repeated parades up to the corner and back, and sharing the snack of banana chips and cranberries Clara found in her backpack from ballet on Tuesday, and...

It reminds me a lot of the fun I had as a suburb dweller when I was young. That was something I missed when we moved out to West Haven and didn't have friends just out the front door.

So, fun day. Thank heavens all days aren't like that. Most days we don't leave the house. But the rest...

All Day

Alice has a catch phrase. I think I'm going to recommend to her that she trademark it. Soon she'll be famous.

Everything is "all day."

Bug tickle me all day.

Trees moving all day.

I naked all day.

I like daddy all day.

Also, she calls polka dots poke-its. When told this morning she needed to get dressed or she'd be cold and naked "all day." (gotta speak language they'll understand, right?), she responded, "Not naked. Poke-its on." She was wearing a polka dot diaper cover that goes to one of her Sunday dresses. Apparently this totally acceptable Monday morning wear when the temperature indoors is 64 (forgot to shut the windows last night).

Not bad talking for a girl who, 7 months ago at her 18 month doctor visit, I had to respond that she did not know at least ten words. Now this girl talks all day.

Transitioning to a family of six

Just a few notes about what we've been doing the last few weeks. You know, besides that baby and things. Blogger's been super slow uploading photos and ain't nobody got time for that. So, while I figure that out, sorry.

The morning Peter was born Nathan complained of a stomachache, and seemed a little tired. And that was that for him, for a while. The morning we came home from the hospital Alice woke up in a pukey bed. And that was that for her, for a while. A few days (or a week? Who can remember?) later, Clara complained about her ear, and then her other ear the next day, and then her eyes were all red. Pinkeye! Somewhere in there Nathan stayed home sick for a couple of days, again complaining about his ears, and then we had a few more bouts of pinkeye, for everyone but Levi. It seemed like we'd have one thing, and then when we thought we'd be healthy, someone else would complain. Luckily, thanks to the wonders of garlic oil and leftover prescription eye drops, we did not have to make a million trips to the doctor. I did feel bad when Peter woke up with one eye crusted shut, though. That baby is way too young to have had pinkeye already. I'm blaming Alice for that one.

Alice loves that baby. We had a tense couple of weeks when she couldn't withhold her love. She was so rough, but she's getting better. She calls him peas, which is also the same way she says please. It gets a little confusing. When we get in the car, she asks, "Peas?" if Peter is not already in his carseat. Yesterday she started telling him, "no crying." He gets a little nervous if she holds him, and who's to blame the kid? Yesterday was also the day the girls both tried to climb the changing table, tipping it over, hitting the three older kids and depositing Peter relatively gently onto the floor. We were hugely lucky with that one. Now no one is allowed to touch the changing table while he's on it, and I'm not stepping away to throw away diapers anymore.

Clara is in love with this baby. And she's developed a real talent for baby talk. She'll sit by me while I feed Peter, or change Peter, or while he lays on the floor for tummy time. All the while she croons nonsense soothingly at him. It's very sweet. It's also driving me batty. She's also good at warning me when Alice is getting a little too physical with Peter so I can step in. So she's a good daycare, as she informed me.

Nathan, when informed that he had a baby brother the morning Peter was born, was thrilled. We heard he walked around all morning, beaming. He's so excited to have a brother. Whereas when Clara and Alice were born, he was slightly interested but too nervous to hold the baby, this time around he holds Peter frequently. He tells me Peter is cute and that he loves him. He wants to show Peter all his toys and his goldfish and his bunk bed. So things are good. Last week as I was feeding the baby he came in and said he thought he had a loose tooth. And so he does. I explained that it would probably fall out some time in the next few weeks, and he whispered, "I'm so excited!" The tooth fairy and the promise of money probably have a good deal to do with that. And he and his cousin decided that the more food you eat, the faster your teeth will fall out. So he's pretty motivated to clean his plate these days.

Peter's doing great. He's settling in and getting better at going to sleep. For a while he was getting up once a night, which was awesome. Lately he's been getting up twice, but it's hard to blame him. The kid just wants to eat. He's got a lot of growing to do. Three weeks may be too early for a real smile, but I'm claiming it anyway. He really did smile at me the other day. And his hair is just as awesome as ever.

Bonus picture! Kid stole my pillow.

Peter Milton Barton

So, that last post was a little grumpy. A couple of notes about it:

• I shared that funny story because I'd for some reason been wanting to have a baby on April Fool's Day.
• And, one of those days I got woken up with false labor, wasn't really false labor. It just took its own sweet time getting down to business.

So I woke up around 2 on Thursday with contractions, which didn't last. I got a couple more hours of sleep before the kids got up. I had contractions about every 20 minutes or so, not that I was keeping track. I just figured, more false labor. Since it was spring break, and I'd been promising them a trip to the airplane museum all week, I decided it would be better to get out than stay home and be grumpy all morning. So, we headed out.

The kids had a great time while we were walking around. And, I flattered myself, I handled the few contractions I had very discreetly. It wasn't too crowded, so hopefully nobody noticed that here is a woman in labor, surrounded by children? Levi was a little surprised where we were when he called to check on us. (Levi spent the week in classified meetings, and so spent his break time checking for messages from me or calling to see how things were.) The girls took a turn to dance on the stage in the far building, and then they were ready to go. We stopped for sandwiches at Arby's, and we were going to eat them at the church while I entered visiting teaching numbers, but I didn't have my church keys. So we went home, had lunch, we probably watched some TV.  Contractions stayed the same all day. So I didn't think I was in real labor.

Levi came home, we had dinner, I sat at the table with Nathan as he pouted about finishing homework, and timed contractions. Contractions got a little closer together but I still didn't think I was in labor. I considered calling someone to watch the kids, but, what's the point? I'm not really in labor. I tried to go to bed, but that didn't happen. Around 11 I realized I really was in labor, and then about 11:30, woah. Contractions every three minutes. Time for a hospital.

Levi's parents came really quickly, which was wonderful. By that time my water had broken and I was getting more than a little miserable. When we got to the hospital I walked part of the way to the door before another contraction hit. When Levi and a nurse came back with a wheelchair, I was crouched down, holding on to a parking lot barrier. It was a pretty good way to deal with it, I thought. It probably didn't look that way. And the best part of waiting too long to get to a hospital is, they don't make you go into the triage room. We got sent directly to a room, once they found a clean one. It was apparently (as we would see) a busy night.

Even though I had preregistered I they couldn't find my information so I had to answer a bunch of questions. When that was finally done the nurse checked to see how far I was dilated. I was hoping for at least a 6, but I was really happy with an 8. And by the time the nurse got my IV in (after only 3 tries--I have the bruises to prove it), I was pushing. Not because someone said, oh, it's time to push, or even, oh, I feel like it's time to push, but because pushing was the only way to manage the contractions.

The doctor showed up at some point, checked things over, and then left when nurse told him he needed to see how things were progressing in another room (another natural labor). I was not really paying attention at this point, but I'm pretty sure the baby's head was out and the nurses were getting ready to catch the baby before the doctor made it back into the room.

I only said, "I can't do this!" once before one last push to get the shoulders out. And instantly I felt so much better. It was wonderful. I heard somebody ask if it was a boy or girl, which was good, because I hadn't thought to ask.

Then they numbed me to sew me up, gave me some medicine to help control my bleeding, which made me feel awful for a few hours, and left us to enjoy our sweet little Peter. He was born at 1:15, almost exactly an hour after we arrived at the hospital, and was 8 lb. 9 oz, 21 inches. And, if you count the start of labor as 2 am Thursday, it was just short of 24 hours of labor.

Waiting

I've been woken up at 2 am twice this week with false labor. Not cool. It makes me kind of grumpy, and it makes the kids get to watch a lot of TV.

We've had a lot going on in our Relief Society in the last month. We had our March activity, and several food orders, and we're midway through a seemingly constant stream of people having surgery. I think, counting the last two weeks and the next two weeks, we're at seven? That seems like a lot of people from one group going under the knife. Oh, and don't forget the babies. We've just about got it all squared away. I've been feeling like Heavenly Father won't let me have my baby until everyone else gets taken care of. Are we close enough yet?

I heard a story that made me laugh. A wife called her husband on April Fool's Day to tell him she was in labor. Pretty good trick, right? Except it meant he missed the birth of their son because he thought it was a joke. It made me laugh pretty good.

Farewell, piano

Yesterday we lost our piano. Sad day. For two years we stored my sister-in-law's brother's piano and yesterday they came to pick it up. But I'm looking forward to having the extra space back in our living room. You know, until all that baby stuff starts exploding everywhere. I loved having a piano but I didn't actually play it that much and I don't think we'll be replacing it until after we've moved, somewhere, sometime. It just felt a bit too squishy for me in that room.

I read a blog post somewhere the other day about the small house movement. Apparently there is a small house movement that values functionality over square footage. And I can get behind that. I don't feel like I need a big house, or a lot of belongings, in order to impress the neighbors. But. If we don't get into something a little bigger with a much better kitchen in the next few years, my head may explode.

I keep forgetting funny things Alice has been doing. She likes to make funny faces. I don't remember this being a thing at not-quite two with the other kids.

And one day she wanted her clothes off, so I helped her. Then she walked into Clara's room for a bit. She came back out, having put on one of Clara's skirts. But she can't pull it up over her diaper in the back so it was normal in the front, and bowed way down in the back. And she came out, threw her arms out, like ta-da! Look at me, world! She was so proud of herself.

Nathan is still learning to read, and adding numbers, and such. He loves kindergarten, luckily. He is starting to not love homework, though. He has been wanting to go outside and catch some bug pets lately. And he really wants a goldfish in a space rocket aquarium for his birthday. I'm considering it, because I'm tired of my mason jars getting filled with weird junk from the yard to satisfy his want for a pet.

Clara has been learning lots about letters from our home preschool. Once a week my sister comes over and teaches Clara and her daughter. Sometimes I help, but really it's mostly her show. I have a pretty great sister. Clara is learning to write her name and random other letters from the alphabet. I really need to be looking into preschools for the fall but I haven't really started yet.

That's pretty much it. Five more weeks from tomorrow.

We made it to March!

March is going to be a good month. I can feel it.

Here's what's been up. After feeling around in murky exhaustion and mental fog I'm figuring things out. My lesson I'm teaching tomorrow seems to be to a point that it won't embarrass my face off. That's always a good sign. I'm almost done editing a book for my friend. Then I'll be able to focus on my book club book and figure out what we're going to discuss. (I seem to to have a problem with picking books that don't have discussion questions conveniently in the back, and then I have to write my own.) I've been awake since 5:30 planning our March Relief Society activity. Seems like this shouldn't be on my mind, but I seem to be bad at delegating when I'm pretty sure things won't get done. But I have a plan and now the delegating will happen. So once I get through with this activity and go to my friend's temple sealing in a few weeks, I think I'll be ready to have this baby come. I have just over six weeks left but I'm kind of counting on it not being quite that long.

The pregnancy is going well. The scale says I have gained a lot of weight but we were never on close terms anyway. I've not had heartburn, or backaches, or most of those late pregnancy discomforts. I finally went back to see my hematologist and we have made our peace. I didn't go for a long time because I knew she'd push me to start prednisone before I was willing to, but we compromised and I know that taking it is really the best course. My platelets have come up quite a bit since I started taking it. And I'm dealing with the side effects better this time around.

And another thing about Alice: I forgot to put this last time, and it was so funny. She's stopped doing it already, which is a sad thing. Instead of yes, she'd say yea. Like "yay," you guessed what I wanted! or "yea," I'm from the sixteenth century. Now she's graduated to a more adolescent "Yeah." So casual. She's learning a lot of imaginative play. When I fold laundry she'll get a clean washcloth and climb into the laundry basket and wash herself. And, mom has to watch.

Clara is getting really excited and curious about the baby. She is wondering how the baby got in there, and how do I change the baby's diaper, and is the baby naked?

Nathan is still mad at me for not finding out if the baby is a girl or a boy. He does not want to be surprised. But he's keeping himself busy with school and general mischief while he waits.

Alice-Almost-Two

A few weeks ago we set up the toddler bed. Everyone was excited, and Clara was only a little bit sad she never got a chance to sleep in the star bed (she went directly from crib to bunk bed). She loves her big bed. She loves being able to climb in and out. She even learned to say star and moon in honor of it. She loves to get books and read them in bed. This morning I opened her door after the big kids had been up for a while. She was sitting on the floor and said, "No!" when I asked her if she was ready for breakfast. She came down like ten minutes later.

You can also see from this picture that she loves to dress up. She and Clara love to put on dresses, and Clara's learning to help Alice change, which I love. Alice can reach Clara's clothes bins, so she likes to put those on. Or at least try and get really frustrated when it doesn't work out. She also loves Clara's shoes.

Some of Alice's favorite things:
Playing with babies. She likes to change their clothes and feed them. She hates to get her hair done, but loves to put a flower in her hair when it's done. Sometimes we have to do several flowers before she's satisfied. Once she had five. She loves to copy everything she sees Nathan and Clara do.

She's also been picking up a lot of words lately. It's so nice, since it helps her not be so frustrated when she can't say what she wants. Some of her favorite words lately are:
Yes, no!, please, purple (she even uses it appropriately most of the time), flower, fish, shoes, please, baby, doggie, mommy, daddy. Doggie and daddy sound remarkably similar, both a sort of elongated "dieeee." It could be construed as a little threatening. But it's mostly adorable.

Yesterday for the first time she said cookie and up. Right now she's trying to say dinosaurs. Exciting times.

Christmas 2013

 On Christmas Eve we went to see the live nativity in West Haven. Alice did not enjoy it.

 Nathan insisted on wearing my scarf over all his winter clothes. He had to wrap it around his neck like four times to keep it from dragging on the ground.

 As always, it was beautiful.

The kids went to bed really well on Christmas Eve so we could get everything set up without it being too late. We set their scooters out by their stockings, and both of the older kids looked right past it to go for their stocking. Alice noticed, though. The first thing she did was climb on her scooter.

The girls' favorite things were the fairy wings and magic wands they both got. Santa didn't need to look much farther than the dollar store, I guess. Mom and dad forgot batteries, so Nathan couldn't play with his remote control helicopter. Oops. But they all had fun playing with Clara's pony princess castle and Alice's doll and bathtub. (It just took me a long time to remember what Alice got for Christmas. It's been a whole month.)

We went to my parents for lunch and presents and then finished the day with dinner and more presents at Levi's parents'. Busy good day. Merry Christmas.

We've had a birthday

 yeah, it was like, three weeks ago? And didn't Christmas happen at some point? Yes and yes. We're getting there. We set up  one of Clara's presents the night before so she could have a grand surprise. For once Clara was up before Nathan so she got a few minutes with it to herself.

We went out for Clara's birthday lunch at Applebee's, then dropped Nathan off at school and went home for Clara's Happy Birthday Tea Party. When we gave her the option of doing something fun as a family on her birthday, like bowling or a movie, all she wanted to do was invite Hannah over for a tea party. So we "girl party"-ed it up. A tea party with bananas, strawberries, pudding cups, and apple juice. Nail polish. Making necklaces. That sort of thing. It was a good time.

 Then we picked Nathan up from school and went up the hill to Danny's birthday party (it gets a little complex when two cousins share birthdays). Clara transitioned from princess tea partying to pirate partying. When I went back to pick up the kids Jon and Rachel let us borrow this birthday hat they'd just bought. It even had four candles, so it seemed perfect.

 Alice was an especially big fan of the birthday hat. She had to hold it up so it wouldn't cover her entire head. We served snacks and birthday cake for the grandparents and opened the rest of her presents. I didn't give her much choice in birthday cake decorating (not that she even eats cake). She seemed pretty happy with a rainbow.

Now, just a word about this four year old. Now that she's four, she can "probably read now." She's pretty sure. She is a big helper; I'm not usually very grateful for her efforts to help me clean the kitchen, or the bathroom, or sweep the floor, but her picking up toys is always appreciated. One day after we dropped Nathan off at school I told her I was tired and was going to lay down for a few minutes, and she said she would "do all your jobs."  I heard her downstairs moving around, and didn't pay much attention. Fifteen minutes later when I came down, she was standing on a chair at the sink, scrubbing dishes. Sometimes the purely generous soul she is makes my heart hurt a little with its beauty.

The Preschool Dilemma

Isn't it such a mom thing that if there's something we could possibly feel guilty about, we will find a way?

Preschool should not be a guilt thing.

My dear rambunctious three year old Nathan needed preschool. Having that time away, that structure, that listening to other adults was irreplaceably good for him. And I felt a little guilty about it, but his behavior was such that I knew we should go for it.

Clara's now four. And at the beginning of the year I decided she didn't need two years of preschool. And she is so shy I didn't think she was ready for it. So I told her, "when you're four you'll go to preschool." And she brought it up, on her birthday. "Now I'm four and I can go to preschool!"

I drop Nathan off at kindergarten after lunch, come home and put Alice down for her nap, and there's poor bereft Clara, bored and "lonely." She doesn't know how to play by herself. And boring pregnant mom just wants some time to rest. So I've been idly thinking preschool might be great.

But my friend just told me they have an open spot in her daughter's preschool. Shouldn't I feel great about this? I don't, for two reasons.

I'm a tightwad that doesn't want to pay 85 dollars a month.

It makes me feel like I'm bunting on meeting her needs. I can teach her letters and counting and all those things. I can be more proactive at arranging play dates for her. I can do those things, and in an ideal world, I would have the mental energy to do them.

So, the question is: enroll in preschool now, or wait till the fall? I think by the fall  I'll be definitely ready to send her off. It's not really that big of a question, is it? It would only be six hours a week.